Stay calm, relax

 "Stay calm, relax!"

Probably one of the most ambiguous and useless advice there is.

Because in reality it is not clear what "stay calm" means. We all have a vague idea of ​​what that means, but that never puts us in a position to truly improve our lives. For example, we all have a vague idea of ​​what a surgical operation to remove appendicitis is, but this does not put us in a position to operate someone successfully.

It is, in general, the problem of adjectives. "hyperactive", "depressed", "narcissist", are all labels that are then used, in a wonderful circular reasoning, as an explanation. "He's a hyperactive child."

Because?

"Well, because he has hyperactivity!"

You don't go far this way.

Common language is chock full of these traps.

So what do I say to a person who is about to take an exam, or who is late, or who has just dropped a stack of dishes?

What happens in the real world is very similar to this video: people try to learn to stay calm, but they don't really learn anything.

What does a person or, more generally, a living organism do when we label it as "calm"?

It does not speed up its movements, on the contrary, if possible, it slows them down.

You receive an email from your boss, urging you to respond as soon as possible. And you don't want to become a hyperkinetic and dissatisfied robot. Instead of telling yourself a useless "stay calm", try typing the email slowly, watchful of how fast you type on the keyboard. Don't worry about how you feel - focus on what you are doing. It's a workout. You become good with massive practice. Ancient wisdom already suggested that if you want to become like someone, you must act like that someone.

You could go further: you could make a table where each day briefly describe what was the occasion when you moved slowly, even if part of you wanted to speed up.

Over time and with training, some sort of conditioning could arise:

The mobile phone battery is low   →    I walk slowly towards the electric socket.

I have an ophthalmologist appointment and I'm late  →  I walk as if I were taking a walk.

I smell something burning  →  I open the oven as if everything were ok, without acceleration.

The few seconds I (perhaps) gain if I run are useless, if not to convince me even more that I have to run. Uselessly and unpleasantly.

Do you want to live better? Learn to move slowly.